I was reading a site the other week (www.b3ta.com/questions/peeves/) and the question of the week was Pet Peeves. This got me thinking, and since then I've noticed more and more things that bug the hell out of me!

Turns out I get pissed at a lot of things!

People who eat McDonalds on the train - Seriously, just fuck off. I don't want to see or smell you while you stuff that disgusting excuse for food into your cake hole

Spitting in public - Why!? I was having a ciggy outside the pub t'other day, and this bloke was just standing there gobbin on the floor next to me, TWUNT!

People who think Im IT support - IM NOT!! Pay me £150/hr and I'll gladly sort out your machine you've fucked up with all the pr0n and illegal software you've downloaded

Chavs - I can't think of a comment offensive enough. UTTER FUCKNOSHING CUNTARDS!

Social spongers - GET A FUCKING JOB YOU LOW LIFE PIECE OF TWUNTING SCUM! IM FED UP OF PAYING FOR YOUR FUCKING DRUGS/DRINK/SEX/EVERYTHING AND SO YOU CAN PISS ME THE FUCK OFF AT EVERY POSSIBLE OPPORTUNITY! (see above)

Tv Licence - You make me pay a fuck load of money every year, so I can watch utter bollocks, and the stuff that is worth watching (0.005%) is available FREE on iPlayer?! Fuck off!

Annoying twats that play their music on their phones - WTF!? Newsflash, IT SOUNDS CRAP. The phone came with headphones for a reason, so we don't have to listen to your crappy shite!

The PC brigade - Oh just fuck off already

People who can't seem to flush toilets - Did you grow up in a cave?! Which leads me onto...

People who piss on the toilet seat - Why oh Why!? Just lift the fucker up! You're NOT going to avoid dripping. Period.

People who don't indicate - AGGHHGGH!!!! HOW THE FUCK did you pass your test?! Just flick that little stick!! Im NOT fucking psychic!

People that tell me the same thing over and over - Yes, you told me that already. In fact you've told me 3 times in the last 2 days. Im not thick. I understand English. I have a (kinda) good memory. Tell me once, and leave it at that.

Bar staff that can't serve - Oh come on! It's not fucking rocket science! If your pea sized brain is having trouble pouring my beer, I'll gladly come round there and pour it myself. Just ask.

People who huff and sigh in queues - Yes, Im here too. Its life. We have to queue. If you didn't want to, maybe you should have dragged your fat arse out of bed early and got their first. No? THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Talking on your phone LOUDLY and looking around - Oooo, your having a conversation, how clever of you! Just fuck off! And its NOT that funny! I heard the rest of the convo, they're a twat. You're a twat. FUCK OFF TWATS!

Telling me smoking is bad for me - No fucking shit. I thought it was all a load of bollox. It'll be bad for you next time when I stick my ciggy in your fucking eye you cunt

Banks - FUCKING UTTER CUNTING COCKNOSHES! Im sure it must be illegal to force me to get my pay via a bank. I want it in cold hard cash, in my hands, each month. Why the fuck should they earn money from my hard work?!

People talking through films - SHUT. UP. TWAT.

Toilet paper backtofront - It's over NOT under. Don't do it or I WILL gouge you eyes out you rim-licker

Expensive clothes - I've only ever bought 2 pieces of expensive clothes, and both fucked after 1 wash. I bought a Nike jumper the other week, white, put it in the wash with other WHITE items, it now has an orange stain on the front. Nothing else does. FUCKING ARSE.

People that can't take a hint - If I keep walking to the other end of the bar when you come over, take the hint and fuck off. If you hear me having a "deep conversation" about the price of cheese with the barmaid, take the hint and fuck off. If the barmaid and I start laughing until a little bit of wee comes out, everytime you walk over, FUCK THE FUCK OFF!

People that just stop... - then look at me with hate when I walk into them. You're the one that just fucking stoped you wanker. What, did you forget how to walk suddenly?! Next time I will shove you over, kick you in the face, then look at you with utter disgust for getting blood on my shoes.

Those fucking Halifax adverts - Howard, I blame you.

Dog crap on the street - Im going to give you a choice. Pick it up, or the next time I see your dog shit on the street, I'll follow you home and shit through your letter box. It's fucking disgusting.


I'll add more as they annoy me.